Without the lows in life, we wouldn’t really know when we were experiencing highs. However, this doesn’t necessarily make them any more bearable when they appear out of nowhere and knock us sideways. The important thing is how we deal with them and what we learn from them.
These lows can be personal tragedies, personal knocks or simply a time in life when we reach a crossroads and just don’t know which road to take. When one area of life gets out of balance, it’s easy to feel off kilter and down about everything when really, a few things just need adjusting. But where to start?
Talking to friends and family can be useful and a good place to begin. As the saying goes, two heads can be better than one and often they can come up with ideas we haven’t thought about or put a new spin on something that can help us to see things differently.
Sometimes, however, people start to feel a drain on their family or that they don’t really understand the issues involved. They might be a little close to the situation and unable to view things objectively.
This is where talking to a coach can be the best investment you make. Coaches are trained to help people to make sense of the world around them and work out ways to get their life more balanced and heading in the direction in which they want to go – even if you don’t feel like you know what direction that is at the moment. Coaches can help you identify what it is that you need to adjust and provide you with tools with which to deal with these downtimes more effectively.
Helping young people to work through their worries and to see these times in a more positive light means that in the years to come, they can navigate their way through lows much better prepared to deal with them. Instead of seeing one negative event after another, they begin to see what they’ve learnt from each experience and to know that these things don’t necessarily mean the end of the world but often, new beginnings.
The more life skills you can give a young person, the better they are going to be at dealing with life in general. And the better they are at dealing with life in general, the more successful they are going to be, both career-wise and in their personal happiness.
Coaching can help young people to get ahead not only by having a coach support them through their lows but by also providing them with information and skills that can take many other people years to learn on their own. So if you know a young person struggling to deal with the lows or wanting help deciding which road to take at the crossroads, get in touch with AlterEgo and we’d be only too happy to help. Call -0845 050 7922 or email info@alteregocoaching.co.uk.
Monday, 5 October 2009
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
Post A-Level Blues
The A-level results have now come and gone and whilst many young people will now be sorted and off on their way, some may well now not be very sure what to do with themselves.
AlterEgo specialises in helping young people find direction and the motivation with which to go off and pursue their path in life. Not knowing what you want to do is extremely stressful and can create conflict at home - with parents wanting their children to flee the nest and children likewise wanting to get out of their parents control.
If you know of any young people feeling a little lost and unsure of what to do next, then we'd be more than happy to talk to them. Just call 0845 050 7922 or email us here.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspire. Motivate. M-Power.
AlterEgo specialises in helping young people find direction and the motivation with which to go off and pursue their path in life. Not knowing what you want to do is extremely stressful and can create conflict at home - with parents wanting their children to flee the nest and children likewise wanting to get out of their parents control.
If you know of any young people feeling a little lost and unsure of what to do next, then we'd be more than happy to talk to them. Just call 0845 050 7922 or email us here.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspire. Motivate. M-Power.
Monday, 10 August 2009
The Futures Of Young People
“Motivation and Goal-Setting” is one of the most popular workshops AlterEgo delivers, and in fact, how AlterEgo began – at the start, this was all we offered. Our mission has always been to motivate young people to raise their aspirations and we have now expanded our offerings and do this with a number of different workshops and courses.
During the motivation workshop I talk to young people about their futures and ask them to tell me what they want from their lives. Inevitably, they often get stuck at this point and start to huff and puff and say they have no idea what they want to do. Being asked what you want to do when you’re older is a question young people get asked all the time and one that will often illicit a raising of eyes to the ceiling and an avoidance of the question. However, it’s not really what they want to do when they’re older that interests me, although it’s fantastic when any of them do know exactly what it is they want to do. It’s what they want their life to look, sound and feel like that I want to know about.
So what do I mean by that? Well, if someone tells me that they have no idea about their futures, I ask them if they can tell me a little about where they might want to live, what kind of house they’d like, what kind of lifestyle they’d like to have, how they’d like to feel, whether they’d like to go on holidays, listen to music, hear the sea…anything that they’d like in their future. If that still flummoxes them, then we start with what they don’t want. Do they want to live in a cardboard box? I tell them that there’s nothing wrong with that as long as they don’t mind the cold or not being able to lock their door at night (it’s important that you give them that choice though and not write it off for them. This is about them taking responsibility for their decisions and in fact, being responsible enough to make these decisions themselves.). Obviously I’m yet to meet a young person who aspires to live in a cardboard box, so whilst they might not know what they do want yet, they now have a starting point – they know they don’t want to live in a cardboard box. So from there, it’s possible to build up a picture of things that they might want or not want. Do they want to be able to afford to eat? Do they want to have a car? Do they want to move from the area that they have been living all their lives? Do they want to go abroad? Do they want to go to music festivals or be able to afford to watch Sky? What don’t they want? Can they say instead what they do want?
Building a picture of our futures is a very important process for anyone, whatever age. If we do not know what we want our futures to look like, how do we know what we’re aiming for? For many young people, this will be the first time that they have thought about it other than to know that they don’t know what they want to do. And that’s fine. The key is to realise that if we don’t want to live in a cardboard box, and that if we do want to live in a house with a car, then we’re going to have to get a job and get some money. If they want to make that process easier for themselves, they may well need to get some qualifications.
For most teens, this is often the first time the penny has dropped. Up until now, the focus has been so much on school, exams and what everyone else has been telling them to do, that they have not really had a chance to think about what they want and how they are going to get it. Realising that GCSE’s are going to make things easier, regardless of what it is that they might want to achieve, helps young people to re-engage with their education and to start to think about their future in a new way.
So many people go into jobs that they would never have thought about as a teen because they either didn’t know the job existed or because that was what was on offer when they were job hunting. There are very few people who know exactly what it is they want to do aged 14. The important thing, however, is to want to do something rather than nothing and to prepare young people for that journey ahead. These life skills are every bit as important as any other qualification.
If you'd like to know more about our motivation workshops, please visit the website here or call 0843 050 7922.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspire. Motivate. Empower.
During the motivation workshop I talk to young people about their futures and ask them to tell me what they want from their lives. Inevitably, they often get stuck at this point and start to huff and puff and say they have no idea what they want to do. Being asked what you want to do when you’re older is a question young people get asked all the time and one that will often illicit a raising of eyes to the ceiling and an avoidance of the question. However, it’s not really what they want to do when they’re older that interests me, although it’s fantastic when any of them do know exactly what it is they want to do. It’s what they want their life to look, sound and feel like that I want to know about.
So what do I mean by that? Well, if someone tells me that they have no idea about their futures, I ask them if they can tell me a little about where they might want to live, what kind of house they’d like, what kind of lifestyle they’d like to have, how they’d like to feel, whether they’d like to go on holidays, listen to music, hear the sea…anything that they’d like in their future. If that still flummoxes them, then we start with what they don’t want. Do they want to live in a cardboard box? I tell them that there’s nothing wrong with that as long as they don’t mind the cold or not being able to lock their door at night (it’s important that you give them that choice though and not write it off for them. This is about them taking responsibility for their decisions and in fact, being responsible enough to make these decisions themselves.). Obviously I’m yet to meet a young person who aspires to live in a cardboard box, so whilst they might not know what they do want yet, they now have a starting point – they know they don’t want to live in a cardboard box. So from there, it’s possible to build up a picture of things that they might want or not want. Do they want to be able to afford to eat? Do they want to have a car? Do they want to move from the area that they have been living all their lives? Do they want to go abroad? Do they want to go to music festivals or be able to afford to watch Sky? What don’t they want? Can they say instead what they do want?
Building a picture of our futures is a very important process for anyone, whatever age. If we do not know what we want our futures to look like, how do we know what we’re aiming for? For many young people, this will be the first time that they have thought about it other than to know that they don’t know what they want to do. And that’s fine. The key is to realise that if we don’t want to live in a cardboard box, and that if we do want to live in a house with a car, then we’re going to have to get a job and get some money. If they want to make that process easier for themselves, they may well need to get some qualifications.
For most teens, this is often the first time the penny has dropped. Up until now, the focus has been so much on school, exams and what everyone else has been telling them to do, that they have not really had a chance to think about what they want and how they are going to get it. Realising that GCSE’s are going to make things easier, regardless of what it is that they might want to achieve, helps young people to re-engage with their education and to start to think about their future in a new way.
So many people go into jobs that they would never have thought about as a teen because they either didn’t know the job existed or because that was what was on offer when they were job hunting. There are very few people who know exactly what it is they want to do aged 14. The important thing, however, is to want to do something rather than nothing and to prepare young people for that journey ahead. These life skills are every bit as important as any other qualification.
If you'd like to know more about our motivation workshops, please visit the website here or call 0843 050 7922.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspire. Motivate. Empower.
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
Staying Safe in Cyberspace
There has been much talk this week about how the head of MI6’s wife could potentially have blown his cover through her postings on the social networking site, Facebook. Lady Shelley Sawers disclosed details such as the location of her London flat, the whereabouts of her children and posted photographs of the couple on holiday. Yesterday, David Miliband, in an attempt to play it down, said that it was “no state secret that Sir John (Sawers) wore Speedo swimming trunks on family holidays” and said that really, we should all “grow up”.
But surely, the real issue here is that David Miliband should “grow up”? Internet safety is now a major issue, with young people especially putting themselves in danger on a daily basis and here is Lady Shelley Sawers, a much older, “intelligent” woman, showing just how easy it is to forget the consequences of our internet actions.
Placing that photograph of Sir John Sawers in his speedos may well have not been too much to worry about, but what if it was posted the very day it was taken, next to a sign for the hotel he was staying in…then he’s not that difficult to track down.
Young people posting photographs of themselves in their school uniform are equally making it easy for any paedophiles to find them just as they are if they inform people of their whereabouts. And unless you sort your privacy settings, you are opening up your life and personal details to millions upon millions of world wide web users. According to Ofcom, 40% of young people with social networking profiles are doing just that and putting their settings on public.
Nowadays, young people are conducting their personal relationships online just as much as they are face-to-face. According to MSN and MTV’s research, only 18% of young people have not tried a social networking site. It is therefore not surprising that CEOP, the Child Exploitation and Online Protection group, are reporting over 400 abuse calls a month. That’s not to say they are all from young people being targeted and tracked down by paedophiles but it is from 400 people who have in some way opened themselves up to abuse on the internet simply by being there.
Internet safety is a big challenge right now and AlterEgo provides workshops to young people on Staying Safe in Cyberspace because of this. With just a little more information and a little more thought to exactly what they are exposing themselves to, young people’s safety can be greatly enhanced. And so it would seem, could the safety of MI6 and British security.
Suzannah Wallace
Coaching for Teenagers & Under 25's
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspire. Motivate. M-Power.
But surely, the real issue here is that David Miliband should “grow up”? Internet safety is now a major issue, with young people especially putting themselves in danger on a daily basis and here is Lady Shelley Sawers, a much older, “intelligent” woman, showing just how easy it is to forget the consequences of our internet actions.
Placing that photograph of Sir John Sawers in his speedos may well have not been too much to worry about, but what if it was posted the very day it was taken, next to a sign for the hotel he was staying in…then he’s not that difficult to track down.
Young people posting photographs of themselves in their school uniform are equally making it easy for any paedophiles to find them just as they are if they inform people of their whereabouts. And unless you sort your privacy settings, you are opening up your life and personal details to millions upon millions of world wide web users. According to Ofcom, 40% of young people with social networking profiles are doing just that and putting their settings on public.
Nowadays, young people are conducting their personal relationships online just as much as they are face-to-face. According to MSN and MTV’s research, only 18% of young people have not tried a social networking site. It is therefore not surprising that CEOP, the Child Exploitation and Online Protection group, are reporting over 400 abuse calls a month. That’s not to say they are all from young people being targeted and tracked down by paedophiles but it is from 400 people who have in some way opened themselves up to abuse on the internet simply by being there.
Internet safety is a big challenge right now and AlterEgo provides workshops to young people on Staying Safe in Cyberspace because of this. With just a little more information and a little more thought to exactly what they are exposing themselves to, young people’s safety can be greatly enhanced. And so it would seem, could the safety of MI6 and British security.
Suzannah Wallace
Coaching for Teenagers & Under 25's
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspire. Motivate. M-Power.
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
Every Child Matters
For those of you that don’t know, the aim of the Government’s “Every Child Matters” strategy is to provide children, whatever their background, with the support to ensure that they:
• be healthy
• stay safe
• enjoy and achieve
• make a positive contribution
• achieve economic well-being.
AlterEgo shares these aims - my mission in founding the company was (and, of course, still is) to help young people to build their confidence and self-esteem which in turn improves their mental health. Low self-esteem can have an incredibly detrimental effect on someone’s life and can cause many problems including depression and self-harm.
By improving confidence and self-esteem and by providing young people with as much information as possible, they are then better equipped to go out and make the best decisions for themselves and their futures as possible. Young people can often put themselves in incredibly dangerous positions – getting drunk, taking drugs or succumbing to gang culture, for example – and AlterEgo’s workshops aim to help young people to recognise more positive decisions and to believe that they have a right to make those, thus helping them to stay safe.
In turn, by making those more positive decisions and by increasing their motivation – which often comes by feeling more confident about themselves – young people automatically improve their outlooks and therefore their economic well-being.
AlterEgo’s courses and workshops all use music, film and celebrity culture to engage young people in ways to which they can relate. This creates an enjoyable lesson in which everyone can take part and everyone can understand the messages being put across…but without having to talk about personal circumstances at any point.
Once a young person has had time to work through their goals and ambitions and to understand some of the issues they are facing in such a different approach, they often re-engage with their education and hopefully achieve more from their GCSE’s. That in itself is a positive contribution as according to the government, those not in employment, education or training at age 16 cost upward of £96,000.
So whilst a school or organisation might need to spend £295 now, the savings that they make later on health, crime and unemployment are enormous. Perhaps I should put my prices up?!
If you'd like more information on AlterEgo's workshops or courses, please visit the website - www.alteregocoaching.co.uk - or call 0845 050 7922.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo - Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Raising Confidence and Self-Esteem and Building Aspirations
• be healthy
• stay safe
• enjoy and achieve
• make a positive contribution
• achieve economic well-being.
AlterEgo shares these aims - my mission in founding the company was (and, of course, still is) to help young people to build their confidence and self-esteem which in turn improves their mental health. Low self-esteem can have an incredibly detrimental effect on someone’s life and can cause many problems including depression and self-harm.
By improving confidence and self-esteem and by providing young people with as much information as possible, they are then better equipped to go out and make the best decisions for themselves and their futures as possible. Young people can often put themselves in incredibly dangerous positions – getting drunk, taking drugs or succumbing to gang culture, for example – and AlterEgo’s workshops aim to help young people to recognise more positive decisions and to believe that they have a right to make those, thus helping them to stay safe.
In turn, by making those more positive decisions and by increasing their motivation – which often comes by feeling more confident about themselves – young people automatically improve their outlooks and therefore their economic well-being.
AlterEgo’s courses and workshops all use music, film and celebrity culture to engage young people in ways to which they can relate. This creates an enjoyable lesson in which everyone can take part and everyone can understand the messages being put across…but without having to talk about personal circumstances at any point.
Once a young person has had time to work through their goals and ambitions and to understand some of the issues they are facing in such a different approach, they often re-engage with their education and hopefully achieve more from their GCSE’s. That in itself is a positive contribution as according to the government, those not in employment, education or training at age 16 cost upward of £96,000.
So whilst a school or organisation might need to spend £295 now, the savings that they make later on health, crime and unemployment are enormous. Perhaps I should put my prices up?!
If you'd like more information on AlterEgo's workshops or courses, please visit the website - www.alteregocoaching.co.uk - or call 0845 050 7922.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo - Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Raising Confidence and Self-Esteem and Building Aspirations
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
Peter and Jordan Split....can no relationship work?
News has hit that Peter Andre and Katie Price are to split. The couple, who often argue and bicker, have finally gone one fight too far. Personally, I think they'll be back together in a few weeks, renewing their vows and signing up for magazine covers as fast as their split has hit the newstands, but that's not because I'm cynical, it's because I actually believe that they do love each other. What's gone wrong, however, is a total lack of respect for the other. They have argued publicly, slagged each other off and generally forgotten how to be nice to one another.
Having a relationship is about having a healthy respect for the person you love and treating them in a way as to not hurt their self-esteem or damage their confidence and inner being. It's about letting them be who they are and loving them for it.
Sex education in this country tends to focus on the biology of sex - if it focuses on anything at all as many schools do not incorporate it into their curriculum - and DCSF guidelines now say that sex and relationship education needs to focus more on healthy relationships and values.
AlterEgo runs a sex and relationship education course that does just this. Our 5 week course looks at what a healthy relationship is about, what abuse is in all it's different forms, how to conduct safe cyber relationships and generally, how to respect the person you love and overcome the difficulties you encounter - without perhaps going to the press to get revenge. Whilst that might have felt good to start with, Katie Price is playing a dangerous game. Today she says that she still loves Peter and doesn't want to split up. But by blaming him for the seperation, she is highly unlikely to enamour herself to him and be taken back. Perhaps it wasn't her that went to the press in the first place, perhaps it was indeed Peter who broke it all off....who knows...but I doubt it. Having met Peter a couple of times and spent a lengthy dinner with him talking about Katie and his relationship, I know that one thing is for sure and that is that he will be devastated. Not only about it ending but about losing his children, and that includes Harvey, who he has always considered his own. It's a very sad state of affairs and I truly hope they make it up. But only when they've decided to treat each other with the respect that what having a happy, healthy relationship is all about. Otherwise, it doesn't matter how much you love them, it's just not going to work.
If you'd like to find out more about AlterEgo's Sex and Relationship Education - The Naked Truth - please click here or call 0845 050 7922.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Having a relationship is about having a healthy respect for the person you love and treating them in a way as to not hurt their self-esteem or damage their confidence and inner being. It's about letting them be who they are and loving them for it.
Sex education in this country tends to focus on the biology of sex - if it focuses on anything at all as many schools do not incorporate it into their curriculum - and DCSF guidelines now say that sex and relationship education needs to focus more on healthy relationships and values.
AlterEgo runs a sex and relationship education course that does just this. Our 5 week course looks at what a healthy relationship is about, what abuse is in all it's different forms, how to conduct safe cyber relationships and generally, how to respect the person you love and overcome the difficulties you encounter - without perhaps going to the press to get revenge. Whilst that might have felt good to start with, Katie Price is playing a dangerous game. Today she says that she still loves Peter and doesn't want to split up. But by blaming him for the seperation, she is highly unlikely to enamour herself to him and be taken back. Perhaps it wasn't her that went to the press in the first place, perhaps it was indeed Peter who broke it all off....who knows...but I doubt it. Having met Peter a couple of times and spent a lengthy dinner with him talking about Katie and his relationship, I know that one thing is for sure and that is that he will be devastated. Not only about it ending but about losing his children, and that includes Harvey, who he has always considered his own. It's a very sad state of affairs and I truly hope they make it up. But only when they've decided to treat each other with the respect that what having a happy, healthy relationship is all about. Otherwise, it doesn't matter how much you love them, it's just not going to work.
If you'd like to find out more about AlterEgo's Sex and Relationship Education - The Naked Truth - please click here or call 0845 050 7922.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
Diver Daley offered Life Coach by British Swimming
Diver Tom Daley has been offered life coaching by British Swimming, the governing body for diving, after being taken out of school. Daley, aged 14, completed the Beijing Olympics in 7th place last year and whilst he has many fans outside of school, those in school have been causing him trouble and bullying him by threatening to break his legs.
Whilst life coaching won’t stop the boys at school from their taunts, it can help those that have been bullied re-build their confidence, understand the situation better and deal with future incidents in a more positive way. Although Daley has been very successful in his career so far, it doesn’t mean that he isn’t affected by the bullying. Being bullied is a highly unpleasant experience and extremely upsetting for anyone, whoever they are. Daley, who is taking 9 GCSE’s, is having his education affected by others at school, most likely jealous of his success. Whatever their reasons, it leaves Daley in an awkward situation and one that could easily damage his future prospects.
If you know of anyone being bullied who would like some help dealing with the situation and rebuilding their confidence, then please get in touch with AlterEgo. We specialise in coaching young people and especially teenagers in issues just like these. Alternatively, please visit Beat Bullying for some helpful advice and tips.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo - Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Whilst life coaching won’t stop the boys at school from their taunts, it can help those that have been bullied re-build their confidence, understand the situation better and deal with future incidents in a more positive way. Although Daley has been very successful in his career so far, it doesn’t mean that he isn’t affected by the bullying. Being bullied is a highly unpleasant experience and extremely upsetting for anyone, whoever they are. Daley, who is taking 9 GCSE’s, is having his education affected by others at school, most likely jealous of his success. Whatever their reasons, it leaves Daley in an awkward situation and one that could easily damage his future prospects.
If you know of anyone being bullied who would like some help dealing with the situation and rebuilding their confidence, then please get in touch with AlterEgo. We specialise in coaching young people and especially teenagers in issues just like these. Alternatively, please visit Beat Bullying for some helpful advice and tips.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo - Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
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