Without the lows in life, we wouldn’t really know when we were experiencing highs. However, this doesn’t necessarily make them any more bearable when they appear out of nowhere and knock us sideways. The important thing is how we deal with them and what we learn from them.
These lows can be personal tragedies, personal knocks or simply a time in life when we reach a crossroads and just don’t know which road to take. When one area of life gets out of balance, it’s easy to feel off kilter and down about everything when really, a few things just need adjusting. But where to start?
Talking to friends and family can be useful and a good place to begin. As the saying goes, two heads can be better than one and often they can come up with ideas we haven’t thought about or put a new spin on something that can help us to see things differently.
Sometimes, however, people start to feel a drain on their family or that they don’t really understand the issues involved. They might be a little close to the situation and unable to view things objectively.
This is where talking to a coach can be the best investment you make. Coaches are trained to help people to make sense of the world around them and work out ways to get their life more balanced and heading in the direction in which they want to go – even if you don’t feel like you know what direction that is at the moment. Coaches can help you identify what it is that you need to adjust and provide you with tools with which to deal with these downtimes more effectively.
Helping young people to work through their worries and to see these times in a more positive light means that in the years to come, they can navigate their way through lows much better prepared to deal with them. Instead of seeing one negative event after another, they begin to see what they’ve learnt from each experience and to know that these things don’t necessarily mean the end of the world but often, new beginnings.
The more life skills you can give a young person, the better they are going to be at dealing with life in general. And the better they are at dealing with life in general, the more successful they are going to be, both career-wise and in their personal happiness.
Coaching can help young people to get ahead not only by having a coach support them through their lows but by also providing them with information and skills that can take many other people years to learn on their own. So if you know a young person struggling to deal with the lows or wanting help deciding which road to take at the crossroads, get in touch with AlterEgo and we’d be only too happy to help. Call -0845 050 7922 or email info@alteregocoaching.co.uk.
Monday, 5 October 2009
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
Post A-Level Blues
The A-level results have now come and gone and whilst many young people will now be sorted and off on their way, some may well now not be very sure what to do with themselves.
AlterEgo specialises in helping young people find direction and the motivation with which to go off and pursue their path in life. Not knowing what you want to do is extremely stressful and can create conflict at home - with parents wanting their children to flee the nest and children likewise wanting to get out of their parents control.
If you know of any young people feeling a little lost and unsure of what to do next, then we'd be more than happy to talk to them. Just call 0845 050 7922 or email us here.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspire. Motivate. M-Power.
AlterEgo specialises in helping young people find direction and the motivation with which to go off and pursue their path in life. Not knowing what you want to do is extremely stressful and can create conflict at home - with parents wanting their children to flee the nest and children likewise wanting to get out of their parents control.
If you know of any young people feeling a little lost and unsure of what to do next, then we'd be more than happy to talk to them. Just call 0845 050 7922 or email us here.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspire. Motivate. M-Power.
Monday, 10 August 2009
The Futures Of Young People
“Motivation and Goal-Setting” is one of the most popular workshops AlterEgo delivers, and in fact, how AlterEgo began – at the start, this was all we offered. Our mission has always been to motivate young people to raise their aspirations and we have now expanded our offerings and do this with a number of different workshops and courses.
During the motivation workshop I talk to young people about their futures and ask them to tell me what they want from their lives. Inevitably, they often get stuck at this point and start to huff and puff and say they have no idea what they want to do. Being asked what you want to do when you’re older is a question young people get asked all the time and one that will often illicit a raising of eyes to the ceiling and an avoidance of the question. However, it’s not really what they want to do when they’re older that interests me, although it’s fantastic when any of them do know exactly what it is they want to do. It’s what they want their life to look, sound and feel like that I want to know about.
So what do I mean by that? Well, if someone tells me that they have no idea about their futures, I ask them if they can tell me a little about where they might want to live, what kind of house they’d like, what kind of lifestyle they’d like to have, how they’d like to feel, whether they’d like to go on holidays, listen to music, hear the sea…anything that they’d like in their future. If that still flummoxes them, then we start with what they don’t want. Do they want to live in a cardboard box? I tell them that there’s nothing wrong with that as long as they don’t mind the cold or not being able to lock their door at night (it’s important that you give them that choice though and not write it off for them. This is about them taking responsibility for their decisions and in fact, being responsible enough to make these decisions themselves.). Obviously I’m yet to meet a young person who aspires to live in a cardboard box, so whilst they might not know what they do want yet, they now have a starting point – they know they don’t want to live in a cardboard box. So from there, it’s possible to build up a picture of things that they might want or not want. Do they want to be able to afford to eat? Do they want to have a car? Do they want to move from the area that they have been living all their lives? Do they want to go abroad? Do they want to go to music festivals or be able to afford to watch Sky? What don’t they want? Can they say instead what they do want?
Building a picture of our futures is a very important process for anyone, whatever age. If we do not know what we want our futures to look like, how do we know what we’re aiming for? For many young people, this will be the first time that they have thought about it other than to know that they don’t know what they want to do. And that’s fine. The key is to realise that if we don’t want to live in a cardboard box, and that if we do want to live in a house with a car, then we’re going to have to get a job and get some money. If they want to make that process easier for themselves, they may well need to get some qualifications.
For most teens, this is often the first time the penny has dropped. Up until now, the focus has been so much on school, exams and what everyone else has been telling them to do, that they have not really had a chance to think about what they want and how they are going to get it. Realising that GCSE’s are going to make things easier, regardless of what it is that they might want to achieve, helps young people to re-engage with their education and to start to think about their future in a new way.
So many people go into jobs that they would never have thought about as a teen because they either didn’t know the job existed or because that was what was on offer when they were job hunting. There are very few people who know exactly what it is they want to do aged 14. The important thing, however, is to want to do something rather than nothing and to prepare young people for that journey ahead. These life skills are every bit as important as any other qualification.
If you'd like to know more about our motivation workshops, please visit the website here or call 0843 050 7922.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspire. Motivate. Empower.
During the motivation workshop I talk to young people about their futures and ask them to tell me what they want from their lives. Inevitably, they often get stuck at this point and start to huff and puff and say they have no idea what they want to do. Being asked what you want to do when you’re older is a question young people get asked all the time and one that will often illicit a raising of eyes to the ceiling and an avoidance of the question. However, it’s not really what they want to do when they’re older that interests me, although it’s fantastic when any of them do know exactly what it is they want to do. It’s what they want their life to look, sound and feel like that I want to know about.
So what do I mean by that? Well, if someone tells me that they have no idea about their futures, I ask them if they can tell me a little about where they might want to live, what kind of house they’d like, what kind of lifestyle they’d like to have, how they’d like to feel, whether they’d like to go on holidays, listen to music, hear the sea…anything that they’d like in their future. If that still flummoxes them, then we start with what they don’t want. Do they want to live in a cardboard box? I tell them that there’s nothing wrong with that as long as they don’t mind the cold or not being able to lock their door at night (it’s important that you give them that choice though and not write it off for them. This is about them taking responsibility for their decisions and in fact, being responsible enough to make these decisions themselves.). Obviously I’m yet to meet a young person who aspires to live in a cardboard box, so whilst they might not know what they do want yet, they now have a starting point – they know they don’t want to live in a cardboard box. So from there, it’s possible to build up a picture of things that they might want or not want. Do they want to be able to afford to eat? Do they want to have a car? Do they want to move from the area that they have been living all their lives? Do they want to go abroad? Do they want to go to music festivals or be able to afford to watch Sky? What don’t they want? Can they say instead what they do want?
Building a picture of our futures is a very important process for anyone, whatever age. If we do not know what we want our futures to look like, how do we know what we’re aiming for? For many young people, this will be the first time that they have thought about it other than to know that they don’t know what they want to do. And that’s fine. The key is to realise that if we don’t want to live in a cardboard box, and that if we do want to live in a house with a car, then we’re going to have to get a job and get some money. If they want to make that process easier for themselves, they may well need to get some qualifications.
For most teens, this is often the first time the penny has dropped. Up until now, the focus has been so much on school, exams and what everyone else has been telling them to do, that they have not really had a chance to think about what they want and how they are going to get it. Realising that GCSE’s are going to make things easier, regardless of what it is that they might want to achieve, helps young people to re-engage with their education and to start to think about their future in a new way.
So many people go into jobs that they would never have thought about as a teen because they either didn’t know the job existed or because that was what was on offer when they were job hunting. There are very few people who know exactly what it is they want to do aged 14. The important thing, however, is to want to do something rather than nothing and to prepare young people for that journey ahead. These life skills are every bit as important as any other qualification.
If you'd like to know more about our motivation workshops, please visit the website here or call 0843 050 7922.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspire. Motivate. Empower.
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
Staying Safe in Cyberspace
There has been much talk this week about how the head of MI6’s wife could potentially have blown his cover through her postings on the social networking site, Facebook. Lady Shelley Sawers disclosed details such as the location of her London flat, the whereabouts of her children and posted photographs of the couple on holiday. Yesterday, David Miliband, in an attempt to play it down, said that it was “no state secret that Sir John (Sawers) wore Speedo swimming trunks on family holidays” and said that really, we should all “grow up”.
But surely, the real issue here is that David Miliband should “grow up”? Internet safety is now a major issue, with young people especially putting themselves in danger on a daily basis and here is Lady Shelley Sawers, a much older, “intelligent” woman, showing just how easy it is to forget the consequences of our internet actions.
Placing that photograph of Sir John Sawers in his speedos may well have not been too much to worry about, but what if it was posted the very day it was taken, next to a sign for the hotel he was staying in…then he’s not that difficult to track down.
Young people posting photographs of themselves in their school uniform are equally making it easy for any paedophiles to find them just as they are if they inform people of their whereabouts. And unless you sort your privacy settings, you are opening up your life and personal details to millions upon millions of world wide web users. According to Ofcom, 40% of young people with social networking profiles are doing just that and putting their settings on public.
Nowadays, young people are conducting their personal relationships online just as much as they are face-to-face. According to MSN and MTV’s research, only 18% of young people have not tried a social networking site. It is therefore not surprising that CEOP, the Child Exploitation and Online Protection group, are reporting over 400 abuse calls a month. That’s not to say they are all from young people being targeted and tracked down by paedophiles but it is from 400 people who have in some way opened themselves up to abuse on the internet simply by being there.
Internet safety is a big challenge right now and AlterEgo provides workshops to young people on Staying Safe in Cyberspace because of this. With just a little more information and a little more thought to exactly what they are exposing themselves to, young people’s safety can be greatly enhanced. And so it would seem, could the safety of MI6 and British security.
Suzannah Wallace
Coaching for Teenagers & Under 25's
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspire. Motivate. M-Power.
But surely, the real issue here is that David Miliband should “grow up”? Internet safety is now a major issue, with young people especially putting themselves in danger on a daily basis and here is Lady Shelley Sawers, a much older, “intelligent” woman, showing just how easy it is to forget the consequences of our internet actions.
Placing that photograph of Sir John Sawers in his speedos may well have not been too much to worry about, but what if it was posted the very day it was taken, next to a sign for the hotel he was staying in…then he’s not that difficult to track down.
Young people posting photographs of themselves in their school uniform are equally making it easy for any paedophiles to find them just as they are if they inform people of their whereabouts. And unless you sort your privacy settings, you are opening up your life and personal details to millions upon millions of world wide web users. According to Ofcom, 40% of young people with social networking profiles are doing just that and putting their settings on public.
Nowadays, young people are conducting their personal relationships online just as much as they are face-to-face. According to MSN and MTV’s research, only 18% of young people have not tried a social networking site. It is therefore not surprising that CEOP, the Child Exploitation and Online Protection group, are reporting over 400 abuse calls a month. That’s not to say they are all from young people being targeted and tracked down by paedophiles but it is from 400 people who have in some way opened themselves up to abuse on the internet simply by being there.
Internet safety is a big challenge right now and AlterEgo provides workshops to young people on Staying Safe in Cyberspace because of this. With just a little more information and a little more thought to exactly what they are exposing themselves to, young people’s safety can be greatly enhanced. And so it would seem, could the safety of MI6 and British security.
Suzannah Wallace
Coaching for Teenagers & Under 25's
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspire. Motivate. M-Power.
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
Every Child Matters
For those of you that don’t know, the aim of the Government’s “Every Child Matters” strategy is to provide children, whatever their background, with the support to ensure that they:
• be healthy
• stay safe
• enjoy and achieve
• make a positive contribution
• achieve economic well-being.
AlterEgo shares these aims - my mission in founding the company was (and, of course, still is) to help young people to build their confidence and self-esteem which in turn improves their mental health. Low self-esteem can have an incredibly detrimental effect on someone’s life and can cause many problems including depression and self-harm.
By improving confidence and self-esteem and by providing young people with as much information as possible, they are then better equipped to go out and make the best decisions for themselves and their futures as possible. Young people can often put themselves in incredibly dangerous positions – getting drunk, taking drugs or succumbing to gang culture, for example – and AlterEgo’s workshops aim to help young people to recognise more positive decisions and to believe that they have a right to make those, thus helping them to stay safe.
In turn, by making those more positive decisions and by increasing their motivation – which often comes by feeling more confident about themselves – young people automatically improve their outlooks and therefore their economic well-being.
AlterEgo’s courses and workshops all use music, film and celebrity culture to engage young people in ways to which they can relate. This creates an enjoyable lesson in which everyone can take part and everyone can understand the messages being put across…but without having to talk about personal circumstances at any point.
Once a young person has had time to work through their goals and ambitions and to understand some of the issues they are facing in such a different approach, they often re-engage with their education and hopefully achieve more from their GCSE’s. That in itself is a positive contribution as according to the government, those not in employment, education or training at age 16 cost upward of £96,000.
So whilst a school or organisation might need to spend £295 now, the savings that they make later on health, crime and unemployment are enormous. Perhaps I should put my prices up?!
If you'd like more information on AlterEgo's workshops or courses, please visit the website - www.alteregocoaching.co.uk - or call 0845 050 7922.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo - Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Raising Confidence and Self-Esteem and Building Aspirations
• be healthy
• stay safe
• enjoy and achieve
• make a positive contribution
• achieve economic well-being.
AlterEgo shares these aims - my mission in founding the company was (and, of course, still is) to help young people to build their confidence and self-esteem which in turn improves their mental health. Low self-esteem can have an incredibly detrimental effect on someone’s life and can cause many problems including depression and self-harm.
By improving confidence and self-esteem and by providing young people with as much information as possible, they are then better equipped to go out and make the best decisions for themselves and their futures as possible. Young people can often put themselves in incredibly dangerous positions – getting drunk, taking drugs or succumbing to gang culture, for example – and AlterEgo’s workshops aim to help young people to recognise more positive decisions and to believe that they have a right to make those, thus helping them to stay safe.
In turn, by making those more positive decisions and by increasing their motivation – which often comes by feeling more confident about themselves – young people automatically improve their outlooks and therefore their economic well-being.
AlterEgo’s courses and workshops all use music, film and celebrity culture to engage young people in ways to which they can relate. This creates an enjoyable lesson in which everyone can take part and everyone can understand the messages being put across…but without having to talk about personal circumstances at any point.
Once a young person has had time to work through their goals and ambitions and to understand some of the issues they are facing in such a different approach, they often re-engage with their education and hopefully achieve more from their GCSE’s. That in itself is a positive contribution as according to the government, those not in employment, education or training at age 16 cost upward of £96,000.
So whilst a school or organisation might need to spend £295 now, the savings that they make later on health, crime and unemployment are enormous. Perhaps I should put my prices up?!
If you'd like more information on AlterEgo's workshops or courses, please visit the website - www.alteregocoaching.co.uk - or call 0845 050 7922.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo - Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Raising Confidence and Self-Esteem and Building Aspirations
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
Peter and Jordan Split....can no relationship work?
News has hit that Peter Andre and Katie Price are to split. The couple, who often argue and bicker, have finally gone one fight too far. Personally, I think they'll be back together in a few weeks, renewing their vows and signing up for magazine covers as fast as their split has hit the newstands, but that's not because I'm cynical, it's because I actually believe that they do love each other. What's gone wrong, however, is a total lack of respect for the other. They have argued publicly, slagged each other off and generally forgotten how to be nice to one another.
Having a relationship is about having a healthy respect for the person you love and treating them in a way as to not hurt their self-esteem or damage their confidence and inner being. It's about letting them be who they are and loving them for it.
Sex education in this country tends to focus on the biology of sex - if it focuses on anything at all as many schools do not incorporate it into their curriculum - and DCSF guidelines now say that sex and relationship education needs to focus more on healthy relationships and values.
AlterEgo runs a sex and relationship education course that does just this. Our 5 week course looks at what a healthy relationship is about, what abuse is in all it's different forms, how to conduct safe cyber relationships and generally, how to respect the person you love and overcome the difficulties you encounter - without perhaps going to the press to get revenge. Whilst that might have felt good to start with, Katie Price is playing a dangerous game. Today she says that she still loves Peter and doesn't want to split up. But by blaming him for the seperation, she is highly unlikely to enamour herself to him and be taken back. Perhaps it wasn't her that went to the press in the first place, perhaps it was indeed Peter who broke it all off....who knows...but I doubt it. Having met Peter a couple of times and spent a lengthy dinner with him talking about Katie and his relationship, I know that one thing is for sure and that is that he will be devastated. Not only about it ending but about losing his children, and that includes Harvey, who he has always considered his own. It's a very sad state of affairs and I truly hope they make it up. But only when they've decided to treat each other with the respect that what having a happy, healthy relationship is all about. Otherwise, it doesn't matter how much you love them, it's just not going to work.
If you'd like to find out more about AlterEgo's Sex and Relationship Education - The Naked Truth - please click here or call 0845 050 7922.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Having a relationship is about having a healthy respect for the person you love and treating them in a way as to not hurt their self-esteem or damage their confidence and inner being. It's about letting them be who they are and loving them for it.
Sex education in this country tends to focus on the biology of sex - if it focuses on anything at all as many schools do not incorporate it into their curriculum - and DCSF guidelines now say that sex and relationship education needs to focus more on healthy relationships and values.
AlterEgo runs a sex and relationship education course that does just this. Our 5 week course looks at what a healthy relationship is about, what abuse is in all it's different forms, how to conduct safe cyber relationships and generally, how to respect the person you love and overcome the difficulties you encounter - without perhaps going to the press to get revenge. Whilst that might have felt good to start with, Katie Price is playing a dangerous game. Today she says that she still loves Peter and doesn't want to split up. But by blaming him for the seperation, she is highly unlikely to enamour herself to him and be taken back. Perhaps it wasn't her that went to the press in the first place, perhaps it was indeed Peter who broke it all off....who knows...but I doubt it. Having met Peter a couple of times and spent a lengthy dinner with him talking about Katie and his relationship, I know that one thing is for sure and that is that he will be devastated. Not only about it ending but about losing his children, and that includes Harvey, who he has always considered his own. It's a very sad state of affairs and I truly hope they make it up. But only when they've decided to treat each other with the respect that what having a happy, healthy relationship is all about. Otherwise, it doesn't matter how much you love them, it's just not going to work.
If you'd like to find out more about AlterEgo's Sex and Relationship Education - The Naked Truth - please click here or call 0845 050 7922.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
Diver Daley offered Life Coach by British Swimming
Diver Tom Daley has been offered life coaching by British Swimming, the governing body for diving, after being taken out of school. Daley, aged 14, completed the Beijing Olympics in 7th place last year and whilst he has many fans outside of school, those in school have been causing him trouble and bullying him by threatening to break his legs.
Whilst life coaching won’t stop the boys at school from their taunts, it can help those that have been bullied re-build their confidence, understand the situation better and deal with future incidents in a more positive way. Although Daley has been very successful in his career so far, it doesn’t mean that he isn’t affected by the bullying. Being bullied is a highly unpleasant experience and extremely upsetting for anyone, whoever they are. Daley, who is taking 9 GCSE’s, is having his education affected by others at school, most likely jealous of his success. Whatever their reasons, it leaves Daley in an awkward situation and one that could easily damage his future prospects.
If you know of anyone being bullied who would like some help dealing with the situation and rebuilding their confidence, then please get in touch with AlterEgo. We specialise in coaching young people and especially teenagers in issues just like these. Alternatively, please visit Beat Bullying for some helpful advice and tips.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo - Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Whilst life coaching won’t stop the boys at school from their taunts, it can help those that have been bullied re-build their confidence, understand the situation better and deal with future incidents in a more positive way. Although Daley has been very successful in his career so far, it doesn’t mean that he isn’t affected by the bullying. Being bullied is a highly unpleasant experience and extremely upsetting for anyone, whoever they are. Daley, who is taking 9 GCSE’s, is having his education affected by others at school, most likely jealous of his success. Whatever their reasons, it leaves Daley in an awkward situation and one that could easily damage his future prospects.
If you know of anyone being bullied who would like some help dealing with the situation and rebuilding their confidence, then please get in touch with AlterEgo. We specialise in coaching young people and especially teenagers in issues just like these. Alternatively, please visit Beat Bullying for some helpful advice and tips.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo - Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Thursday, 23 April 2009
Will Darling Help Young People Off the Scrapheap?
So the Budget is out and Alistair Darling has announced Labour’s plans to get us out of the financial mess this country has got into. Included in this is a £3bn jobs package to help young people get into work so that they are not “abandoned to a future on the scrapheap”.
Unemployment is due to top 3 million by the end of the year and young people lacking experience and training are facing a future of doom. Whilst some people see living off benefits as an easy life, the reality is not quite so rosy. Living off around £45 a week is a hard task for even the most frugal and although housing benefits can help, they are not available to all. For most young people living at home, they do not feature but instead, put a pressure on their parents to keep providing when they too are facing a future of financial insecurity.
Being employed is not just about money. Going out to work gives people a sense of purpose. Without it, life can be very dull indeed, especially when you don’t have any money to do anything with. Looking for work means filling out application after application and in this current climate, it can mean facing rejection after rejection. Alongside no social life, this can lead to people losing confidence and feeling depressed and for young people, stuck in a vicious circle of not being able to get a job without experience and not being able to get experience without a job, it can seem like a daunting task and a bleak future. Their sense of excitement at being able to get a job and earn money becomes replaced with disillusionment and low self-esteem. In some cases, it becomes replaced by a life of crime. If we thought this country had problems with its youth before, then I dread to think what might happen in the future.
Darling’s plans are to offer recruitment subsidies to companies taking on 18-24 year olds who have been out of work for more than 12 months. Employers would receive a 20 per cent payment up-front and receive the remaining amount only when the worker was “settled”. Altogether, the government hope to create more than 250,000 jobs over the next two years.
This is all very well and good but where the 250,000 jobs are going to come from and how they are going to finance this idea when Darling’s last welfare-to-work project had to be rescued by a cash handout, I have no idea. But the thought is there and the fact that young people’s futures are being considered at all can only be a good thing.
Having worked with long-term young unemployed people, I have seen the affects of being out of work and how they deal with that. However, I have also seen how getting a job after such a long time can also prove difficult. After months of doing nothing and feeling very low, moving into a work environment where they need to learn new skills fast can be daunting and dealing with the pressures can feel extremely hard when your confidence levels are at rock bottom. All of these issues can be helped by a couple of sessions of coaching and in order to ensure that these young people do become “settled” in their work, the government would do well to invest in some coaches. The cost of coaching compared to the cost of having to re-recruit for the positions of those who cannot cope with the work environment is minimal. And for those that have given up their search being unable to deal with the rejections, it would help them to build their confidence and regain their aspirations.
We need to inspire the youth of this country because they will one day be running it. It's a lovely idea to say that all young people will be given either a job or a training position in the next couple of years but I'm not sure how the reality of that will work - hopefully well, but to really ensure that the scheme works, inspire them first and reignite their motivation. It's no use pushing someone on a training course they don't want to do or putting them in jobs they can't cope with. Build their confidence and raise their aspirations first so that they want to do well and can cope with whatever is thrown at them. Otherwise, I fear, many young people will find themselves on the scrap heap.
Unemployment is due to top 3 million by the end of the year and young people lacking experience and training are facing a future of doom. Whilst some people see living off benefits as an easy life, the reality is not quite so rosy. Living off around £45 a week is a hard task for even the most frugal and although housing benefits can help, they are not available to all. For most young people living at home, they do not feature but instead, put a pressure on their parents to keep providing when they too are facing a future of financial insecurity.
Being employed is not just about money. Going out to work gives people a sense of purpose. Without it, life can be very dull indeed, especially when you don’t have any money to do anything with. Looking for work means filling out application after application and in this current climate, it can mean facing rejection after rejection. Alongside no social life, this can lead to people losing confidence and feeling depressed and for young people, stuck in a vicious circle of not being able to get a job without experience and not being able to get experience without a job, it can seem like a daunting task and a bleak future. Their sense of excitement at being able to get a job and earn money becomes replaced with disillusionment and low self-esteem. In some cases, it becomes replaced by a life of crime. If we thought this country had problems with its youth before, then I dread to think what might happen in the future.
Darling’s plans are to offer recruitment subsidies to companies taking on 18-24 year olds who have been out of work for more than 12 months. Employers would receive a 20 per cent payment up-front and receive the remaining amount only when the worker was “settled”. Altogether, the government hope to create more than 250,000 jobs over the next two years.
This is all very well and good but where the 250,000 jobs are going to come from and how they are going to finance this idea when Darling’s last welfare-to-work project had to be rescued by a cash handout, I have no idea. But the thought is there and the fact that young people’s futures are being considered at all can only be a good thing.
Having worked with long-term young unemployed people, I have seen the affects of being out of work and how they deal with that. However, I have also seen how getting a job after such a long time can also prove difficult. After months of doing nothing and feeling very low, moving into a work environment where they need to learn new skills fast can be daunting and dealing with the pressures can feel extremely hard when your confidence levels are at rock bottom. All of these issues can be helped by a couple of sessions of coaching and in order to ensure that these young people do become “settled” in their work, the government would do well to invest in some coaches. The cost of coaching compared to the cost of having to re-recruit for the positions of those who cannot cope with the work environment is minimal. And for those that have given up their search being unable to deal with the rejections, it would help them to build their confidence and regain their aspirations.
We need to inspire the youth of this country because they will one day be running it. It's a lovely idea to say that all young people will be given either a job or a training position in the next couple of years but I'm not sure how the reality of that will work - hopefully well, but to really ensure that the scheme works, inspire them first and reignite their motivation. It's no use pushing someone on a training course they don't want to do or putting them in jobs they can't cope with. Build their confidence and raise their aspirations first so that they want to do well and can cope with whatever is thrown at them. Otherwise, I fear, many young people will find themselves on the scrap heap.
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
The Upheaval of Moving House
Since August last year, I have moved house 3 times. That’s not because I like moving around, it’s just how it worked out. Luckily, that's it for now.
The moving process wasn’t really all that difficult – I moved my stuff from storage to home and the rest of my belongings were already with me. However, it was still quite an upheaval and after 4 weeks, I’m just starting to find my feet.
Whilst I didn’t feel hugely stressed, my body told me a different story. My hands dried up, my skin went crazy and generally I felt a little lethargic. I guess it’s only natural as you adapt to your new surroundings and take it all in.
However, it led me to thinking about young people in care and how they must feel constantly moving around from home to home. Some young people are lucky and only go into care for a short while. Others spend years of their life shuffling from one place to another and generally having to call the place that they put their hat, home.
I have spoken to many young people in care and am constantly amazed at how many homes they have had to live in. I met one who had asked to be moved to a children’s home simply so that he could have some stability in his life. Many had lived in over 40 homes and were only in their early teens.
During this time, if they are lucky, they are in education and attempting to deal with all the pressures that other young people can find hard. They may have to move school if their new home is not close by and generally adapt constantly to living with people that they might not even get on with.
It’s no surprise therefore that young people in care have poor long-term outcomes. Almost two fifths achieve no GCSE’s at all whilst a further fifth obtain less than 5 GCSE’s. At age 19, almost a third of previously looked-after children are not in education, employment or training. (Official stats from The Poverty Site). These figures are shocking.
I believe that there are many people working to change the care system to try to improve those outcomes - it’s a difficult task with many processes involved. However, let’s hope they work something out that helps those young people, who have already been through hugely stressful situations to get them into care in the first place, to have a more stable childhood and a life where they can obtain as much as any other young person starting out in the world.
And meantime, I’m going to stop moaning about my granny hands and spots and think about how lucky I am. And then I'm going to call my local council and see what I can do that might help these young people achieve brighter and better futures.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
The moving process wasn’t really all that difficult – I moved my stuff from storage to home and the rest of my belongings were already with me. However, it was still quite an upheaval and after 4 weeks, I’m just starting to find my feet.
Whilst I didn’t feel hugely stressed, my body told me a different story. My hands dried up, my skin went crazy and generally I felt a little lethargic. I guess it’s only natural as you adapt to your new surroundings and take it all in.
However, it led me to thinking about young people in care and how they must feel constantly moving around from home to home. Some young people are lucky and only go into care for a short while. Others spend years of their life shuffling from one place to another and generally having to call the place that they put their hat, home.
I have spoken to many young people in care and am constantly amazed at how many homes they have had to live in. I met one who had asked to be moved to a children’s home simply so that he could have some stability in his life. Many had lived in over 40 homes and were only in their early teens.
During this time, if they are lucky, they are in education and attempting to deal with all the pressures that other young people can find hard. They may have to move school if their new home is not close by and generally adapt constantly to living with people that they might not even get on with.
It’s no surprise therefore that young people in care have poor long-term outcomes. Almost two fifths achieve no GCSE’s at all whilst a further fifth obtain less than 5 GCSE’s. At age 19, almost a third of previously looked-after children are not in education, employment or training. (Official stats from The Poverty Site). These figures are shocking.
I believe that there are many people working to change the care system to try to improve those outcomes - it’s a difficult task with many processes involved. However, let’s hope they work something out that helps those young people, who have already been through hugely stressful situations to get them into care in the first place, to have a more stable childhood and a life where they can obtain as much as any other young person starting out in the world.
And meantime, I’m going to stop moaning about my granny hands and spots and think about how lucky I am. And then I'm going to call my local council and see what I can do that might help these young people achieve brighter and better futures.
Suzannah Wallace
AlterEgo
Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Friday, 17 April 2009
Big Up Mr Binney!
A Mr Giles Binney from Rake in Hampshire, yesterday wrote a letter to The Times that read:
Sir, While not decrying the theme of Dee Spencer’s letter (April 14), may I add a balancing account to the perception of a broken society.
We, a far from sprightly couple, have just returned from a long rail journey, involving changes, stairs and heavy luggage. Again and again young people went out of their way to help us with what would otherwise have been a very difficult journey, and invariably with courtesy, kindness and grace. It was an illuminating experience.
Well, how lovely is that? Not simply that the young people helped them out, but because Mr Binney bothered to write to The Times and extol the kindness of these young people. Young people get a bad press but just as with any generalisation, not all young people are bad. The majority of young people are bright, talented and a pleasure to be around. If we reported the good things young people do as well as the bad, then maybe we wouldn’t find society treating young people with such suspicion and distrust all the time. It does nothing to help them grow up respecting their elders and nothing to help society’s problems right now.
Bring on the Mr Binney’s of this world and let’s hear more ways young people have helped the older generation. After all, there are nearly 200,000 young carers in this country for starters and may they be especially saluted.
SUZANNAH WALLACE
Inspiring and Motivating Young People
www.alteregocoaching.co.ukTuesday, 17 March 2009
"Youth" Allowed Into Parliament Shock....
So the vote has gone through and over the summer, the UK's Youth Parliament will be allowed to sit in the House of Commons for a one-off meeting.
Makes sense, really, doesn't it? I mean, this is a group of young people aged 11-18 years old who have all been elected in their local constituency because of their interest in politics and their desire to change the world for the better. Why not let them in on a session in the House of Commons so that they can see how it really does work and ignite their interest even further?
Well, that would be my thinking anyway. But whilst it was also the thinking of 205 MP's, 17 other MP's opposed it. Some were worried about the young people misbehaving, others worried that it was just a gimmick and that it was a way of sucking up for the youth vote and some said that it was almost fascist to have a Youth Parliament anyway when there was no Pensioners Parliament or Employers Parliament and that the House of Commons was representative of the whole of the UK as it is.
Of those opposing, 12 were Tories, 2 Liberal Democrats, 2 Labour and 1 from the DUP.
I understand that this is a break with tradition and therefore those opposing votes are most likely from staunch traditionalists. However, it is also very telling that the Shadow Children's Minister, Tim Loughton, is quoted as saying to journalists that MP's have "nothing to be scared of" in sanctioning the move because:
"Are we seriously thinking that we will have UKYP members leaving gum under the seats, swinging from the chandeliers, having to install juke boxes and that we are going to have a major chav riot in the place?" he said. "No of course this isn't going to happen."
("Juke boxes"??? Er, hello.)
Well it might, but it might also happen on any day of the week judging by the way most of the Ministers behave.
However, I have no doubt that the Youth Parliament will be on their best behaviour when on their commons visit. And hopefully, it will be the first of many. The young people in this country are our future but are hugely misunderstood and treated as objects of fear by many. Until this changes and young people are included more in politics and given the respect that they deserve, nothing will ever change.
SUZANNAH WALLACE
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspiring and Motivating Young People
Makes sense, really, doesn't it? I mean, this is a group of young people aged 11-18 years old who have all been elected in their local constituency because of their interest in politics and their desire to change the world for the better. Why not let them in on a session in the House of Commons so that they can see how it really does work and ignite their interest even further?
Well, that would be my thinking anyway. But whilst it was also the thinking of 205 MP's, 17 other MP's opposed it. Some were worried about the young people misbehaving, others worried that it was just a gimmick and that it was a way of sucking up for the youth vote and some said that it was almost fascist to have a Youth Parliament anyway when there was no Pensioners Parliament or Employers Parliament and that the House of Commons was representative of the whole of the UK as it is.
Of those opposing, 12 were Tories, 2 Liberal Democrats, 2 Labour and 1 from the DUP.
I understand that this is a break with tradition and therefore those opposing votes are most likely from staunch traditionalists. However, it is also very telling that the Shadow Children's Minister, Tim Loughton, is quoted as saying to journalists that MP's have "nothing to be scared of" in sanctioning the move because:
"Are we seriously thinking that we will have UKYP members leaving gum under the seats, swinging from the chandeliers, having to install juke boxes and that we are going to have a major chav riot in the place?" he said. "No of course this isn't going to happen."
("Juke boxes"??? Er, hello.)
Well it might, but it might also happen on any day of the week judging by the way most of the Ministers behave.
However, I have no doubt that the Youth Parliament will be on their best behaviour when on their commons visit. And hopefully, it will be the first of many. The young people in this country are our future but are hugely misunderstood and treated as objects of fear by many. Until this changes and young people are included more in politics and given the respect that they deserve, nothing will ever change.
SUZANNAH WALLACE
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Inspiring and Motivating Young People
Saturday, 14 March 2009
Hugh Rifkind's Article "My Week: Julie Myerson"
Following on from my blog on Julie Myerson yesterday, I thought I'd post a link to Hugh Rifkind's "My Week: Julie Myerson" in this morning's Times newspaper. It made me chuckle quite a lot and sums it all up really.
Click here to see it...
My favourite lines are:
In reference to their son Jake: “Just stop writing everything down, and selling it, and then pretending you haven’t. I’m begging you.” Actually, the way he said it was even more heartrending than that. But I went off to get my Dictaphone, and he just wouldn’t say it again. He was such a sweet boy. When did he become so selfish"
In reference to their daughter: "You were right to mention her bad skin. That was a really upsetting time for us, wasn’t it?”
So thanks to Hugh for making my breakfast more enjoyable this morning.
Suzannah
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Click here to see it...
My favourite lines are:
In reference to their son Jake: “Just stop writing everything down, and selling it, and then pretending you haven’t. I’m begging you.” Actually, the way he said it was even more heartrending than that. But I went off to get my Dictaphone, and he just wouldn’t say it again. He was such a sweet boy. When did he become so selfish"
In reference to their daughter: "You were right to mention her bad skin. That was a really upsetting time for us, wasn’t it?”
So thanks to Hugh for making my breakfast more enjoyable this morning.
Suzannah
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
Friday, 13 March 2009
Julie Myerson has been in the headlines all week after kicking her son out of the house and then writing a book about it and his drug taking activities.
The idea, she says, is to publicise what it's like to live with a son who smokes skunk and the awful affects it has on you and your family. The result however, has been somewhat different with Julie being vilified in the press as a monster mother ruining her son's life even further than he might already have.
On reading several articles on the subject and listening to some debate on TV, what I find so extraordinary is Myerson's complete lack of awareness and understanding about the whole subject of drug taking. All she is concerned about is the terrible time she has had dealing with it all and the terrible affects it has had on her (and her family - but we're hearing it from her) and very little attempt to really understand what and why it was that her son, Jake, started smoking in the first place.
In her interview with Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight, Myerson mentions that Jake started using cannabis around the time that she was having problems in her relationship. In his interview in the Daily Mail, Jake says:
"'This idyllic childhood was suddenly shattered by fights, reality and talk of my parents separating…My parents didn't separate, but perhaps it might have been better if they had, because everything which has happened now is, in my eyes, a by-product of trying to keep things together."
Not only were his parents potentially separating, but Jake didn't sleep for "about a year" because of the worry. For a child who has so far been brought up without a care in the world, how then do you expect that child to suddenly understand and know how to deal with stress? Until this point, it was an alien concept.
Now smoking a bit of pot can almost be seen as a rites of passage for some, but the point that Myerson makes is that Jake was "using" - ie he was smoking more than occasionally - and this later turned to skunk which is very strong.
When people turn to drugs and alcohol, they are often trying to dull a pain or a feeling of lack of self worth, self respect and love. In fact, Jake describes it very well. He says:
'Whatever emotion you are feeling, especially when you are younger, cannabis restores that awed sense of magic in the world. It removes you from everything that's there and then…'
For a 15 year old to want to restore the magic and remove himself from the there and then, he has to be pretty unhappy. But instead of looking at things from his side, Myerson and her husband went about giving "tough love" and on finding some cannabis in his room, they called the police.
Now if you're already feeling like noone loves you, this new event starts to reinforce that feeling. Add on top of this that all the while Myerson was writing about her son in a weekly column (and pretending to him that it wasn't her) which subjected him to ridicule from his classmates and follow it with the fact that she then threw him out of the house at the age of 17 when he's still attempting to deal with all these things, and it's actually quite a wonder he's not on crack. Because all her actions have done is reinforce in her son's unconscious mind, that his mother and father no longer love him.
Now I know that I've not taken into consideration the fact that their son stole money out of their wallets and that Jake perforated his mothers ear drum, however, on those points I would say that teenagers not smoking drugs sometimes steal money out of their parents wallets and Jake hit his mothers ear after she had repeatedly slapped him round the face, something Myerson has not disputed.
So whilst Myerson wants to help others going through a similar experience to her family by publishing her story about it all, what she seems to have got so wrong is that she could have helped herself and her own family a hell of a lot more if she had been a little bit more self aware and taken the time to see things through the eyes of her son, Jake. Described as a "shy child" and obviously hugely sensitive - an "artist" to boot - Jake now faces living a life where everyone knows just what he was up to as a troubled teenager. And yet noone knows what Myerson and her husband got up to during the troubled times of their marriage because not only does she choose not to focus on her own personal experience then, but her son who obviously still loves her enough not to disrespect his family in the same way, says he won't talk about it because it would be wrong to do so. Myerson could learn a lot from him.
Unfortunately, Myerson has chosen to look at everything from her own, self righteous point of view and totally disregard the feelings of her children. I fear her latest actions will lead to a young man losing his mother forever. It's very sad.
Suzannah Wallace
Working with teenagers to help them become happier, healthier young adults
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
The idea, she says, is to publicise what it's like to live with a son who smokes skunk and the awful affects it has on you and your family. The result however, has been somewhat different with Julie being vilified in the press as a monster mother ruining her son's life even further than he might already have.
On reading several articles on the subject and listening to some debate on TV, what I find so extraordinary is Myerson's complete lack of awareness and understanding about the whole subject of drug taking. All she is concerned about is the terrible time she has had dealing with it all and the terrible affects it has had on her (and her family - but we're hearing it from her) and very little attempt to really understand what and why it was that her son, Jake, started smoking in the first place.
In her interview with Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight, Myerson mentions that Jake started using cannabis around the time that she was having problems in her relationship. In his interview in the Daily Mail, Jake says:
"'This idyllic childhood was suddenly shattered by fights, reality and talk of my parents separating…My parents didn't separate, but perhaps it might have been better if they had, because everything which has happened now is, in my eyes, a by-product of trying to keep things together."
Not only were his parents potentially separating, but Jake didn't sleep for "about a year" because of the worry. For a child who has so far been brought up without a care in the world, how then do you expect that child to suddenly understand and know how to deal with stress? Until this point, it was an alien concept.
Now smoking a bit of pot can almost be seen as a rites of passage for some, but the point that Myerson makes is that Jake was "using" - ie he was smoking more than occasionally - and this later turned to skunk which is very strong.
When people turn to drugs and alcohol, they are often trying to dull a pain or a feeling of lack of self worth, self respect and love. In fact, Jake describes it very well. He says:
'Whatever emotion you are feeling, especially when you are younger, cannabis restores that awed sense of magic in the world. It removes you from everything that's there and then…'
For a 15 year old to want to restore the magic and remove himself from the there and then, he has to be pretty unhappy. But instead of looking at things from his side, Myerson and her husband went about giving "tough love" and on finding some cannabis in his room, they called the police.
Now if you're already feeling like noone loves you, this new event starts to reinforce that feeling. Add on top of this that all the while Myerson was writing about her son in a weekly column (and pretending to him that it wasn't her) which subjected him to ridicule from his classmates and follow it with the fact that she then threw him out of the house at the age of 17 when he's still attempting to deal with all these things, and it's actually quite a wonder he's not on crack. Because all her actions have done is reinforce in her son's unconscious mind, that his mother and father no longer love him.
Now I know that I've not taken into consideration the fact that their son stole money out of their wallets and that Jake perforated his mothers ear drum, however, on those points I would say that teenagers not smoking drugs sometimes steal money out of their parents wallets and Jake hit his mothers ear after she had repeatedly slapped him round the face, something Myerson has not disputed.
So whilst Myerson wants to help others going through a similar experience to her family by publishing her story about it all, what she seems to have got so wrong is that she could have helped herself and her own family a hell of a lot more if she had been a little bit more self aware and taken the time to see things through the eyes of her son, Jake. Described as a "shy child" and obviously hugely sensitive - an "artist" to boot - Jake now faces living a life where everyone knows just what he was up to as a troubled teenager. And yet noone knows what Myerson and her husband got up to during the troubled times of their marriage because not only does she choose not to focus on her own personal experience then, but her son who obviously still loves her enough not to disrespect his family in the same way, says he won't talk about it because it would be wrong to do so. Myerson could learn a lot from him.
Unfortunately, Myerson has chosen to look at everything from her own, self righteous point of view and totally disregard the feelings of her children. I fear her latest actions will lead to a young man losing his mother forever. It's very sad.
Suzannah Wallace
Working with teenagers to help them become happier, healthier young adults
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk
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