Julie Myerson has been in the headlines all week after kicking her son out of the house and then writing a book about it and his drug taking activities.

The idea, she says, is to publicise what it's like to live with a son who smokes skunk and the awful affects it has on you and your family. The result however, has been somewhat different with Julie being vilified in the press as a monster mother ruining her son's life even further than he might already have.

On reading several articles on the subject and listening to some debate on TV, what I find so extraordinary is Myerson's complete lack of awareness and understanding about the whole subject of drug taking. All she is concerned about is the terrible time she has had dealing with it all and the terrible affects it has had on her (and her family - but we're hearing it from her) and very little attempt to really understand what and why it was that her son, Jake, started smoking in the first place.

In her interview with Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight, Myerson mentions that Jake started using cannabis around the time that she was having problems in her relationship. In his interview in the Daily Mail, Jake says:
"'This idyllic childhood was suddenly shattered by fights, reality and talk of my parents separating…My parents didn't separate, but perhaps it might have been better if they had, because everything which has happened now is, in my eyes, a by-product of trying to keep things together."
Not only were his parents potentially separating, but Jake didn't sleep for "about a year" because of the worry. For a child who has so far been brought up without a care in the world, how then do you expect that child to suddenly understand and know how to deal with stress? Until this point, it was an alien concept.
Now smoking a bit of pot can almost be seen as a rites of passage for some, but the point that Myerson makes is that Jake was "using" - ie he was smoking more than occasionally - and this later turned to skunk which is very strong.

When people turn to drugs and alcohol, they are often trying to dull a pain or a feeling of lack of self worth, self respect and love. In fact, Jake describes it very well. He says:

'Whatever emotion you are feeling, especially when you are younger, cannabis restores that awed sense of magic in the world. It removes you from everything that's there and then…'

For a 15 year old to want to restore the magic and remove himself from the there and then, he has to be pretty unhappy. But instead of looking at things from his side, Myerson and her husband went about giving "tough love" and on finding some cannabis in his room, they called the police.

Now if you're already feeling like noone loves you, this new event starts to reinforce that feeling. Add on top of this that all the while Myerson was writing about her son in a weekly column (and pretending to him that it wasn't her) which subjected him to ridicule from his classmates and follow it with the fact that she then threw him out of the house at the age of 17 when he's still attempting to deal with all these things, and it's actually quite a wonder he's not on crack. Because all her actions have done is reinforce in her son's unconscious mind, that his mother and father no longer love him.

Now I know that I've not taken into consideration the fact that their son stole money out of their wallets and that Jake perforated his mothers ear drum, however, on those points I would say that teenagers not smoking drugs sometimes steal money out of their parents wallets and Jake hit his mothers ear after she had repeatedly slapped him round the face, something Myerson has not disputed.

So whilst Myerson wants to help others going through a similar experience to her family by publishing her story about it all, what she seems to have got so wrong is that she could have helped herself and her own family a hell of a lot more if she had been a little bit more self aware and taken the time to see things through the eyes of her son, Jake. Described as a "shy child" and obviously hugely sensitive - an "artist" to boot - Jake now faces living a life where everyone knows just what he was up to as a troubled teenager. And yet noone knows what Myerson and her husband got up to during the troubled times of their marriage because not only does she choose not to focus on her own personal experience then, but her son who obviously still loves her enough not to disrespect his family in the same way, says he won't talk about it because it would be wrong to do so. Myerson could learn a lot from him.

Unfortunately, Myerson has chosen to look at everything from her own, self righteous point of view and totally disregard the feelings of her children. I fear her latest actions will lead to a young man losing his mother forever. It's very sad.

Suzannah Wallace
Working with teenagers to help them become happier, healthier young adults
www.alteregocoaching.co.uk